A few jokes about computers.

The work of someone who watches for malware is not always serious, I get to have a few jokes along the way. Here are a few of the jokes that I have come across, and a few I have made up myself.

WARNING: Make sure you are not drinking anything before you read on. If you short out something in your computer it is your fault. :)



1. A few nights ago, I found an infomercial from 1992. The infomercial was selling a computer that came with a subscription to two encyclopedias, one of which was said to update silently. At first I did not hear it right, so here is what I was thinking: "So, there's a silent encyclopedia, and a really loud one?"

2. Does anyone know where I can get some blinds to keep the malware out of my Windows? I'll pay top dollar.

The bulk of the rest of these are going to be about factional viruses.

3. The Airline virus: You are in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

4. AT&T virus: Every three minutes, reminds you of what great service you are getting.

5. Right To Life virus: Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible alternatives.

6. Texas virus: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.

7. Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.

8. The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.

9. New World Order virus: probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.

10. Nike virus: Just Does It!

11. I needed some new software for my computer, so I went to the computer store. While I was there, an employee demonstrated how a new piece of software worked. He claimed that the software would do half of the work for me, so I bought two copies so I would not have to do any work at all.

12.What is a .jar file? A file that can be kept inside a jar.

Hope you liked this small sample of jokes. Thanks for reading. If you have any jokes about computers you would like to have included in this list, please comment below.